Five Amazing Things I Have Learned From Gen Z
When you are an entrepreneur, you are often advised to have both a mentor who is older and a mentor who is younger. The idea is that older mentors provide seasoned wisdom based on experience and younger mentors offer fresh perspectives, insights into current trends, and a little dose of idealism.
But I also believe you should make friends with older people and people who are younger for similar reasons; you can learn a lot from both groups. And as someone who works in comedy/the arts, I spend a lot of time hanging out with people who are in Gen Z (folks born approximately between 1997 and 2012). And you know what? I love them. Sure, some of them have annoying unique qualities (just like literally every generation that came before them), but they also have great unique qualities (just like every generation that came before them).
Disclaimer: I’m about to make some sweeping generalizations based on my own personal experience. Get on board or gtfo, Babe.
Here are five great things I’ve learned from hanging out with Gen Z:
1. How to be unapologetic and confident about my body
As an Elder Millennial (born in 1982), I was raised by Boomers (old Boomers born between 1947 and 1950, to be exact). I was also raised in a Conservative small town in a religious family. Consequently, I was taught that “modest is hottest”. As I grew older, in addition to not showing too much skin, the focus was on “dressing for my body”, meaning I should wear what is most flattering for my body type. But one thing I never heard was that I could just wear what made me feel good or what made me feel confident. As a Millennial, I also was raised in the worst timeline for female body-shaming…an era hyper-focused on diet culture, where this was fat, and shaming incredibly thin women was the norm.
It took me years, but I’ve mostly undone the mindset of my diet-obsessed, body-dysmorphic youth. And Gen Z helped me do that. The Gen Z people that I am surrounded by wear what they want; they rock midriffs with squishy tummies and short shorts with cellulite. They aren’t concerned about judgment from others; they are concerned with what makes them feel good. They aren’t as concerned with “body type”; they’re more concerned with how they feel. And they gave me the confidence to live in the same way.
2. How to have fun without alcohol
All of the statistics show that Gen Z doesn’t drink as much as the generations that came before them. And as someone who hangs out with people of all generations, I see the cultural divide very clearly. No judgment intended, but when I go to a party with my Gen X friends, there is typically heavy booze consumption¹, and when I go to a party with my Gen Z friends, there is far less drinking. We discovered very early on that whenever we throw events at my very-Gen-Z-place-of-business, we don’t need to supply much alcohol. It won’t get consumed and the keg will still be half-full.
In my experience, Millennial drinking can’t be generalized as easily; some drink socially, some go hard, and some are sober. I drank heavily in my youth and into my 20s. I went (dangerously) hard. I had untreated anxiety and used alcohol as a social lubricant. But over the past 10-15 years, I’ve slowed down a lot, and it’s not simply because I’ve gotten older, become a parent, or my lifestyle changed. In fact, I work in a very social business where I “go out” almost every weekend. Despite that, I don’t drink much anymore; I credit spending a lot of time with Gen Z. I think it happened gradually. When you’re not surrounded by alcohol culture, you start to notice how different things feel. I didn’t notice it for a while, but when I’m at events where people aren’t all hammered, it results in fewer fights, misunderstandings, and less drama; there are more meaningful conversations and connections; there is less chance for accidents or physical violence. Alcohol Culture is so normalized that sometimes I think we take it for granted.
Sure, when everyone at the party is sober or has only had one drink, there is more social anxiety…and that’s hard. But it also forces you to work those soft skills and push past the anxiety. And the more you do that, the easier it gets.
Don’t get me wrong; I still drink. On a given night out, I may have a drink; two at most. But I haven’t over-served myself in years. I don’t want to be the only sloshy person at the party where people are all fairly sober and are relaxed and having fun.
3. How to NOT define yourself by your job
When I meet someone older than 45 they will typically ask me what I “do,” meaning what my job is. Gen Z is much less concerned with what I “do” and more focused on who I am. They might ask what my job is at some point, but they don’t assume that my job or career is a big part of who I am at my core. Many of them tend to see a job as one part of their lives rather than the driving force behind their existence. They don’t believe that we should all work 40-50 hours a week at a job that we tolerate until we can retire at 65 and start living. They lean into “work-life balance” and the idea that we shouldn’t work our lives away. But they also believe in strong friendships and finding hobbies that enrich their lives and help them find meaning beyond the daily grind of a day job. For Gen Z, finding out “who a person is” rarely means finding out their job and more likely means finding out what they like to do in their spare time and where they spend their time. And that has helped me shift my own thinking about work and what defines me and my life.
4. How to decentralize romantic relationships and prioritize friendships
Women are staying single more than before. Research shows that roughly 30% of women have never been married (as compared to 20% in 1950). And it’s not because they can’t find a mate; it’s on purpose. Half of single adults report that they are single and “not looking.” There are many reasons for this trend, including the fact that single women are happier, healthier, and live longer.
None of this is my thesis, but just context for the fact that I feel this in my daily interactions with members of Gen Z (especially women, non-binary folks, and LGBTQ+ folks). Instead of focusing on the goal of finding a life-long romantic partner, so many of them are focused instead on creating and cultivating deep friendships. At least half of my female friends, including the married ones, have very realistic conversations about spending their golden years in a commune of friends (comprised of mostly women).
And Gen Z folks don’t just talk about cultivating friendships- they live it. They work to maintain friendships and make friend-dates and Friendsgivings, and they treat their friends like family. They have “chosen family,” and honestly, it’s beautiful. And because they’ve cultivated such a healthy, robust support system, they just aren’t as concerned with finding that one magical romantic partner to spend their life with. They don’t see romantic love as something that they HAVE to have in order to have a rich, fulfilling life. And they’ve made me realize that I don’t have to have it either. I currently do, and that’s cool. But for the first time in my life, I also know that if I didn’t have it I would be okay. Or…not just “okay.” I would be great.
5. How to live Unseriously
I know Gen Z is often perceived as ultra-sensitive “snowflakes,” but I’m here to tell you that they’re generally not. Yes, they reject racist, homophobic, and bigoted language, and they are quick to call out some of our past vernacular and problematic behaviors as such…but you shouldn’t misconstrue that as being overly sensitive². They’re often referred to as “Unserious” because their sense of humor knows no bounds; they will joke about everything from death to 9/11. They thrive on layers of absurdity and brainrot. There is some nihilism to their humor…probably because so many of them are drowning in predatory student debt while the planet burns and democracy struggles. But that’s a subject for another day. Have you seen Gen Z’s effects on advertising? Dig into the TikTok accounts for Nutter Butter, Pinesol, and Sour Patch Kids to see what happens when a member of Gen Z takes over a brand. It’s absolutely bonkers; and you may not “get it,” and that’s okay!
Can Gen Z take this “unseriousness” too far? Sure. You can read think pieces about that. But their unseriousness also helped me take life and myself a little less seriously. And I appreciate that.
As a bookend, let me say this one more time- this post is from MY experience with Gen Z living in a progressive city. These are MY generalizations. Your experience of Gen Z may be different. Don’t come at me with arguments about MY experience. Speak from yours.
Notes:
¹Before y’all come at me- I know there are sober people in older generations; and I know there are drinkers in Gen Z, but the statistics have shown them to consistently drink less than previous generations. I speak from my experience coupled with statistics.
²There are exceptions to be sure. I know them. I see them on the internet. But I really believe that they are the exception and not the rule.